Relationships

How to Scratch the Seven year itch

By R. G. Bloom C.Hyp

Should all relationships have a seven year

renewable arrangement subject to children?

All relationships go through sticky patches from time to time, However, most relationship breakdowns occour when 'scarring’ happens. Every time an argument or an upsetting situation happens the relationship is injured, and unless this is dealt with at the time, its may not heal. As these small injuries happen again and again over the years there is a build up of tiny scars that are never truly dealt with.

Maybe you could have have sorted it out at the time, but life got in the way; work, the kids, sickness just to tired to deal with it……

Maybe one of the partners forgets what happened but it begins to fester within the other, unsaid and suppressed until it gets to a level where a deeper scar is made.

Over time the ‘memories’ of these scarring events are forgotten by the conscious mind but not by the subconscious. How can you ‘love’ someone when there is a deep underlying resentment that is now so complex you wouldn’t know where to begin.

You may start living like brother and sister as the emotional connection dies and you just go through the motions of a relationship. By not feeling ‘anything’ you will not have feel the ‘resentment’ either.

Or, your attitude toward you partner continues to change until you no longer wish to spend time with them any more. Your negativity makes the smallest thing blow out of proportion with disastrous effects.

It does not have to be this way: So what’s the solution?

If both parties are aware of what might be happening then they have a chance to save the relationship.

The normal options would possibly be:

try and talk it out
seek help from friends or relatives
see a relationship counsellor.
have a break from each other.

No one would think of ‘Hypnotherapy’.

Why would hypnotherapy be any better than say, counselling?

The main reason hypnotherapy is so successful with this sort of problem is that it is able to track down and HEAL the tiniest of suppressed scarring that destroys the bedrock of the relationship.

First I talk to both partners and agree on very clear guidelines; So that they feel comfortable with working with me, as it is extremely important that I build an environment of trust between me each individual.

I will need to know how hard they are prepared to fight to keep together, are they have committed to change? How far they have to change will depend on the scarring and the problems they face now.

All areas will be covered from little things like leaving the lid off the tooth paste to; that little habit you thought was cute when you first met them but has now is just annoying and even winds you up!

Of course there are the bigger issues like addictions, greed, jealousy, anger, and lying.

On many occasions I have come across one partner trying to destroy a relationship because it is too good. As their past experience has shown; all their relationships go bad in the end, and because they can’t cope with the stress of waiting for this one to go bad, they put pressure on their existing partner by testing them to destruction! Of course in the end the relationship breaks down and they say. ‘See; I was right, there all the same’!

In this instance my job would be to heal the damage of all the passed relationships and raise the expectations of success in their current one.

The sad thing is that it is rare for both parties to want to see me so I often have to do my best with one side of the equation: Even under these circumstances I can make a tremendous difference in the dynamics of the relationship but it does not compare to working with both partners.

As a hypnotherapist I believe all relationships go through constant change both good and bad, and therefore everyone would benefit from reducing the scarring of the past and bringing back the freshness and passion that was there at the beginning.

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